Relationship OCD

BY Chutiya Chitboonthaweesuk, Phornnattha Kongsatitphan, Tanyarat Saelor

EDITED BY Jittanan Tirawatthanaprapha

What is Relationship OCD?

Relationship OCD, also referred to as R-OCD, is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder in which people experience repetitive intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors related to their partner in a relationship. The person with R-OCD may experience constant doubts, fear, and uncertainty about their relationship. These thoughts may lead to behaviors designed to gain reassurance from their partner. With this ongoing process, not only will the conditions affect one's mental health, but it can also cause a significant amount of stress and can often interfere with the establishment of the relationship itself. 

Causes and symptoms 

There are a number of factors that increase a person’s risk of developing R-OCD, including:

• Changes in activity in some areas of the brain

• Difficulties in close relationships 

• A history of abuse

• The loss of a loved one

• Trauma

• Sudden life-changing events

• Change in chemical levels, for example, serotonin in the brain

Factors such as having a poor self-esteem and an anxious attachment style; feeling insecure about their relationship and fear of being abandoned by their loved ones, can also contribute to anxiety related to relationships. 

Some signs and symptoms of R-OCD include:

• Intrusive or repetitive thoughts about the relationship or partner, for example:

• “Are they ‘the one,’ or is someone else out there a better match for me?”

• “Am I a good enough partner for them?”

• “I didn’t feel overwhelmed with love for my partner today. Does that mean we’re not the right match?”

• Excessive concern about partner’s happiness or well-being

• Always thinking about partner’s flaws

• Thinking that there is a chance to have found a different and better partner

• Feeling distracted and unable to focus because of the intrusive thoughts about the relationship or partner

• Comparing a partner or relationship to others

• Sexual difficulties

Risk factors

There is no specific test that can diagnose R-OCD. However, there are some risk factors that might contribute to the development of the condition which include:

• A family history of OCD or anxiety disorders

• Past trauma or abuse from experience 

• Perfectionism 

• Anxiety or fear about relationships 

• Difficulties with emotion management 

R-OCD can affect people of all ages and genders. Though it is common for individuals to develop some level of R-OCD, the severity of the condition might differ according to the risk factors. The conditions can become so severe that it might interfere with one’s relationship. 

Treatment

There is no cure for R-OCD; however, there are various ways to manage and treat the symptoms. Some treatments for R-OCD include psychotherapy, medication or a combination of the two.

• Psychotherapy: can help work on challenging areas, for example, low self-esteem, difficulty being assertive, poor social skills, and lack of self confidence that can affect the ability to start or maintain long-term relationships.

• Medication: can help reduce the symptoms of OCD. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are a type of antidepressant that are the most effective type of medication for the treatment of OCD.

Works Cited: 

MSEdLPCNCC, Sara Makin. How to Recognize Relationship OCD and What to Do About It. 16 Nov. 2022, www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-recognize-relationship-ocd-what-do-sara-makin-msed-lpc-ncc#:~:text=However%2C%20there%20are%20some%20risk,history%20of%20trauma%20or%20abuse.

Kelly, Owen, PhD. “Identifying and Coping With Relationship OCD.” Verywell Mind, 9 Nov. 2023, www.verywellmind.com/ocd-and-romantic-relationships-2510557#:~:text=Relationship.

Hart, Olivia. “What Is Relationship OCD?” WebMD, 9 Dec. 2021, www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/what-is-relationship-ocd.